Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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