Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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