i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
