he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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