We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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