I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
