I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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