Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
