I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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