Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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