Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
