At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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