Only a mothe r could love this liver
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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