So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
