Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?