? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
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Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?