Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.