I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
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I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.