...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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