So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
