So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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