I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
