You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
