OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He passed out mid-signature
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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