Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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