I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just google imaged poop.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
