i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize