oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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