There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
