my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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