he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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