My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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