I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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