I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
