I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
