Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
