Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
