I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
