i wish starbucks made bloody marys
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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