I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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