Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
