Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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