My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
