did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
