apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
50% drunk capacity currently
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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