I am puke
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
