I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
