i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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