I wanna bring you to show and tell
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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