Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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