So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
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it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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