i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
