I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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