whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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