do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
