he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
