Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
