At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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