apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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