my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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