whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
