tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
