her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize