Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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