dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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